Rocky Biasi talked to us about “Accidental Counseling” because at one point or another, we need to respond to a person in need. We are in no way counsellors, and as teachers we know that there exist critical situations which need to go to counsellors. But your everyday situation when someone is a bit down, you as a teacher might be in a situation when you need to say the right things.
So what are they?
- Match the person you are talking to’s level. If they are positive about their misfortune and not ready to talk about it – then it’s not your job to bring them down
- We need the balance of conversation to be 20% focused on problem 80% focused on solution to the problem – look for the next best step.
- Ask “scaling questions” about where they are at on a level from 0-10
- What’s one thing I can do that would make everything else easier or unnecessary?
- Big Picture Question: What is my ONE thing?
- What’s my ONE thing right now?
- Perception is reality – your perception is their reality. If you rush in to challenge that perception then you’re not listening. This goes with the concept that Gen Y do not hold the view of “absolute truth”. How do you know if you have a different mentality to Gen Y? Do you catch yourself saying “You should”? If yes, you see things in black and white. Right and wrong. And the new generation of learners don’t see things this way.
- You need to help the person you are talking to soften their perception. If you challenge their perception outright, they will just defend it.
- Protecting our kids from any pain or disappointment. We are reducing their resilience.
- How would you like things to be? – Paint a picture of how you would like things to be?
- Three process Questions:
- How much do you want this to change? (1-10) Yes I want it to change BUT
- How much do you think “they/ it/situation” will change? – related to external system
- So who or what needs to change?